About Me

My story

As a child, I tried to make myself as small as possible, to not have needs, so that I would not be a problem for others and tried to take care of others and look after them.   I rarely voiced my needs.  I have met so many people, particularly women who have had similar experiences. 

At 28 I had a breakdown/breakthrough that took years of therapy and I tried so many different counsellors, coaches, therapists etc.  I had not appreciated how much hurt people hurt people and in order to have my needs met, subconsciously I made many mistakes and could not understand why I had done or sometimes said what I had or why I always felt wrong.

Over many years, from experiencing talking therapies, which helped to a degree, I experienced; EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), I tapped into creativity, spirituality, movement, play/fun, being in nature, meditation, guided visualisations, Louise Hay's work, metaphor, art journalling, yoga, learned Ceroc, African drumming, scuba diving, kayaking, many different aspects. 

Healthy relationships have been important, even one person, an animal/s because 'healthy' connections are nurturing.  Being connected to nature, the ocean, the universe, spiritually.  Being with like-minded people may help.  I have joined and left so many groups because I changed, developed.  Nothing was wrong, it was just what it was at the time.

It took a lot to leave these groups, at times over the years, I was often scared that I would make a wrong choice but it felt right to move on.  I sometimes stayed because of a fear of being rejected and I was, several times in personal and professional relationships. 

Here's the thing, this is 'living' life.  These have been some of the most painful experiences and the most deep lessons I have needed to learn and heal from, leading me to the freedom I feel now for being me.  I got to know myself by being in relationships, even when they no longer worked.  

I learned that I was not a crazy person.  At times it felt like I was going crazy to stay sane. I learned about the human operating system and the survival response, from there I realised I was in fact a regular human being doing the best I could with what I knew at the time.

I had no idea how unsafe I felt in my body and around others due to some of the messed up ideas I had. I thought I was defective and responsible for others sadness/happiness.  I had an eating disorder, smoked, drank too much at times as a way of not feeling and trying to make myself feel better, when feeling was in fact the answer.

I feel so humbled and privileged to have walked alongside others as they learn about themselves, to feel, sense, see who they are.  Incredible souls doing the best they can with what is known at the time and, my goodness, they have so much inner wisdom, resilience and a birth right to live a life that feels right to them.

When they tell their story, feel heard, it is so awe inspiring to see how they have more clarity about how thoughts and energy can be directed to cultivate their inner landscape not trying to change their body, shape or size or to acquire what they have been told will make them feel good about being themselves.  It is an inner journey.